The antidote to stress
Let's face it, we work in a high-stress industry. Some of us are better at handling it than others, but inevitably, if you obtain any level of success in real estate, you will end up in lots of high-pressure (i.e. high stress) situations.
Deals will crash, owners will get angry at the market, buyers will pull out at the last minute, and settlements can turn into a shit show. Throughout our day-to-day lives, we will face a bevvy of cortisol-generating situations. How we handle and respond to those moments will impact our longevity in real estate, our income moving forward, the quality of our personal relationships, and of course, our own mental and physical health.
Here are our top tips for managing stressful moments in your real estate career:
Stop and Breathe
The moment you are hit by a bad bit of news or something goes wrong, stop. Close your eyes, take a slow, deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. Take a few if you need. Open your eyes, say 'ok' and start working on your plan moving forward.
Fresh air is your friend
When you feel worked up, and problems are starting to mount on your already swamped shoulders, stand up, move your body, get outside and start walking. Moving helps us think more clearly, and taking yourself away from the stress-producing environment for 5-10 minutes can be enough of a circuit breaker to help catch your breath and work out what to tackle first.
Eat something (especially if you drink coffee)
Caffeine on an empty stomach is a surefire way to raise your anxiety levels, lift your blood pressure, and have you spiralling your way to stress-ville.
Have you ever had one of those days where you were so busy you forgot to eat breakfast or lunch? When we feel under pressure, or super-stressed, food is often the last thing on our mind. But it's also the best place to start if you want to get to a calmer place.
Try having a stash of healthy snacks in your office that you can stomach even if you don't have much of an appetite. Better yet, combine your need for sustenance with a fresh-air walk. Whatever you do, try to pick healthy options that won't give you a sugar crash 2 hours later. If you are feeling anxious, avoid adding fuel to the fire by drinking more caffeine.
As I've gotten older, I have become more caffeine sensitive. I can't handle much more than 1 coffee a day, so after 10 am I drink decaf. That way I can still have the satisfying feel and taste of a coffee, without the 3 pm irritability crash.
Talk it through
Whatever is causing you stress, take away its power by giving voice to what's happening. Be vulnerable and let someone know how you're feeling. It's ok to admit when we aren't on top of everything. The key is to talk about it in a constructive way. Avoid dramatising the situation. Take a deep breath, explain the facts of the situation calmly and work through your options moving forward.
Key point: It's far easier to listen to someone share their mental load if you can tell they are coming from a constructive place. Show respect to your friend / buddy / manager by voicing your issue with the right attitude. That way, they'll be there for you again in the future when you need them.
Take action
The real antidote to stress is ACTION.
Doing something about it. The reason this isn't top of the list however, is that you need to clear the decks first so you are in the right headspace to take the best possible action.
By stopping to take a breath, finding some fresh air, getting something to eat, and talking it through with a real estate buddy, you'll be setting yourself up to make smart decisions. Your brain is far more likely to find an answer to whatever problem you're facing if you can get yourself to a calm mental state first.
Remember: it's not your name on the title
Our job is to help our clients through challenging life situations. We need to be empathetic to their predicament, without taking on their problems.
Their stress doesn't have to be your stress.
When people around us are worked up, they will try their darndest to transfer that stress onto you. In those moments, you need to remind yourself - it's not your name on the title.
You didn't crash the deal, or hire that crappy building inspector, or remove that load-bearing wall without consent. You didn't make the market tank, which means this owner is now faced with selling the home for less than they paid.
As angry and frustrated as your clients might become, it's our job to keep them focused on the next step:
"Bearing all that in mind. These are your options moving forward. What would you like to do?"
Beware the energy you take home
Our life partners will inevitably bear the biggest burden when it comes to hearing our tales of stress and woe. Understandably, they also get frustrated when we repeatedly put ourselves into stressful situations, taking on listings we probably shouldn't, unable to say 'no' to bad business for fear of missing out on a big commission.
The key here is to protect our most important relationships at all costs. When you take work problems home, be sure to do so with a proactive mindset. As mentioned above - take a constructive approach, calmly laying out the facts and the options available to you. Our partners are more likely to give us the support we need when we stay solution-focused.
Demonstrate that you are prepared to take action and stay away from situations where you end up complaining about the same problems day after day - like a shitty colleague or tricky client.
Either do something to improve the situation or stop complaining.
Thriving in real estate isn't about avoiding stress. It's about managing our emotions in those challenging moments, finding tools and strategies to help us through the difficult spots and coming out the other side with our heads held high.
If you can do that consistently, you might just have a real future in this game ;)
For more on the topic of mental health, check out these guides: